The Missing Link: How Understanding Energetics Transformed Our Parenting
- Charity Blechinger
- Mar 26
- 7 min read
Updated: Mar 29
Parenting is a wild ride. You read the books, follow the advice, and try all the strategies — yet sometimes, nothing seems to work. That was what it was like at the start of our journey with our oldest. We were doing all the things — the routines, the rewards, the gentle communication, the therapy sessions — but the struggles remained. Our son was anxious, reactive, and emotionally all over the place. No matter how consistent or how much love we poured in, things weren't shifting.
I remember one particular day so clearly. He was about seven years old, and we were running late for school. He was anxious because the sky had dark clouds, and the stress was mounting. I was trying to stay calm, but inside, I could feel my frustration bubbling over.
"Let's just take a deep breath," I said, sitting next to him on the couch.
"No!" he screamed, with tears running down his face. His little body trembled, and his fists clenched in his lap.
I took a deep breath, trying to model calm. But our son wasn't having it. He screamed louder, cried and shook because he was so overwhelmed. I sat beside him, completely deflated and heartbroken. I couldn't help him.
I felt utterly helpless. I had done everything suggested and had read—stayed calm, kept my voice soft, validated his feelings—yet he was still spiralling. I sat beside him, rubbed his back, and whispered, "It's okay."
But it didn't feel okay. It felt like we were both drowning. It felt like I wasn't getting something. There was a missing link.
Over the next few months, I realized — I wasn't just dealing with his emotions. There was something deeper going on. His nervous system was completely overwhelmed, and it wasn't because of the clouds in the sky. It wasn't even about being late. It wasn’t about his anxiety or sensory issues. He was reacting to something bigger, something deeper beneath the surface.
It was about energy. The energy of the people he interacted with and the environments he interacted with.
Everything changed once we started exploring energetics, energy healing, crystals and paying attention to the subtle but powerful role that energy plays in parenting — both our child's energy and our own. It was like unlocking the final piece of the puzzle. Our parenting approach stopped feeling like a constant uphill battle and started to flow. And what's more, once we balanced the energetic piece, all the other aspects of his WholeSELF — physical, mental, emotional, expressive, intuitive and energetic selves — started syncing up in a way that finally made sense. It became more apparent the struggle he was having outside the home.
This is the story of how energetics became the turning point in our parenting and in our personal lives— and how you can use it to create more harmony and connection with your kids. And begin to see how the world has a considerable impact on them.
Doing All the Things — and Still Struggling
For a long time, we were parenting in the ways suggested for kids with the unique needs of our oldest son. We had systems in place:
Emotional support: We talked about feelings, modelled emotional regulation, and gave our son space to express himself.
Mental support – We taught problem-solving, coping strategies, and emotional vocabulary.
Physical support—We ensured he got enough sleep, good nutrition, and time to move his body.
Expressive support – We encouraged creativity through art, play, and storytelling.
Intuitive support – We tried to foster trust in his instincts and inner knowing.
Things were okay, with a definite improvement, but there were still frequent ups and downs.
Small things would still rattle him — meltdowns at bedtime, resistance to simple transitions, and more tears when we had somewhere to go. We would get into phases where things were bad: refusing to go to school or social settings he once loved, having trouble sleeping, and his anxiety skyrocketing even on medication.
We doubled down on the strategies—more validation, more structure, more positive reinforcement. But deep down, I felt like I was missing something. It was like our son was stuck, and we were stuck with him. It was like something was misaligned, and no amount of parenting techniques could fix it.
The Energetic Piece We Had Overlooked
Here's the thing: Kids are incredibly sensitive to energy — more than adults. And not just their own energy but the energy of their environment and the people around them.
We realized that our son was not just reacting to external events—he was absorbing and mirroring the energetic state of the household and the external environments he went to. School is a massive contributor to this.
If we were stressed, he would become agitated.If we were calm and regulated, he would soften.If there were tension between us as parents, he would carry it in his body even if we never spoke a word about it. So, with this in mind, imagine the energetic load he carried from being at school.
And even more than that, his energetic field was out of balance. He was constantly in a state of fight-or-flight; his nervous system was on high alert. He struggled to self-regulate because his WholeSELF were completely overwhelmed with things.
One night, after a tough day, I sat with him in the dark while he sobbed into his pillow. I had tried everything — logic, soothing words, distraction — nothing helped. Finally, I just sat beside him and focused on slowing my breathing. I turned on some relaxing music. I closed my eyes and pictured a calm, grounding light surrounding both of us. I didn't say a word. I didn't try to fix anything.
After a few minutes, I felt his breathing slow. His little body started to relax. He grabbed my hand and fell into a deep sleep; he just… let go.
That was the first moment I realized the power of energy.
How We Started Working with Energy
Once we recognized that energy was at play, we shifted our focus from just managing behaviour to managing energy. Here's what that looked like:
1. Regulating Our Own Energy First
We realized that the most powerful thing we could do for our son was to regulate ourselves. Kids co-regulate with their parents — they sync up with the emotional and energetic state of the adults in their lives.
We started practicing mindfulness and nervous system regulation techniques (like breathwork, yoga and grounding).
We became more intentional about how we showed up energetically — slowing down, speaking softer, holding calm eye contact, being fully present.
If we were stressed or overwhelmed, we calmed ourselves before engaging with our son.
We built strong self-care routines starting to work on our internal challenges and awareness.
2. Teaching Him How to Work with His Own Energy
Next, we started guiding him to notice and adjust his own energy.
We introduced body awareness, helping him recognize when his chest felt tight, his breath was shallow, or his body felt heavy.
We taught simple techniques, such as deep breathing, shaking out tension, and the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique.
We encouraged him to set energetic boundaries and to take space breaks — teaching him that it's okay to step away from overwhelming situations or say "no" to things that feel off—building him up to advocate for himself and to express how he was feeling in a calm, collected manner.
We explored different energetic practices, such as reiki, body talk, access bars, crystals, sound, etc., which allowed us to find the best fit that helped clear his energetic body and bring it back into balance.
3. Tuning Into the Energetic Field of Our Home
We also started paying attention to the energy of our space.
We decluttered — because stagnant physical space creates stagnant energy.
We created calm rituals — like soft lighting, calming music, and consistent rhythms to anchor the day.
We started using grounding tools like essential oils, crystals, and nature elements to clear and stabilize the energy in our home.
When It All Started to Flow
Everything else started to align once we brought the energetic piece into balance.
His ability to manage his emotions improved because his nervous system was no longer constantly overwhelmed.
His physical health improved because his body was no longer under constant stress.
His mental focus sharpened because he wasn't wasting energy managing emotional and energetic chaos.
His creativity blossomed because he felt safe and free to express himself.
He began to trust his instincts more because he was free from emotional distractions.
It wasn't about fixing his behaviour but creating an environment that would allow his whole system- his WholeSELF- to come into balance. Over time, the home became his safe place, and it remains that place to this day—the place where he could let his guard down and breathe. We had routines and practises that allowed him to decompress from his day at school to truly enjoy his evening.
We had to work with him to foster his needs and energetic awareness and boundaries when out of the home and at school, as this environment significantly impacted his well-being.
Final Thoughts
Understanding energetics changed everything for us. It helped us stop seeing our son's struggles as a problem to solve and start seeing them as a signal—a message from his system that something was out of balance. The thing is, we can't control how other environments impact our kids, as they still need to live life. But we can raise awareness, help them understand their feelings, and create a safe space at home to help them unwind, learn, and process.
Energy isn't just a side note in parenting — it's the foundation. When you balance it, everything else starts to click into place. ❤️
You got this!
Charity Blechinger
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