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Choosing Curiosity: A Path to Deeper Connection and Understanding

Charity Blechinger
Be curious. The world is full of stories waiting to be heard—you just have to be willing to listen.
Be curious. The world is full of stories waiting to be heard—you just have to be willing to listen.

We live in a world where it’s way too easy to judge others at first glance. Whether it’s someone’s choices, behaviour, or even just their appearance, we often make snap judgments without knowing the whole story. It’s human nature, but here’s the thing—judgment doesn’t get us anywhere. Curiosity, on the other hand? That’s where connection, understanding, and growth happen.


The phrase “Be curious, not judgmental” became pretty popular after it was used in Ted Lasso, but it’s a lesson that applies far beyond a TV show. It’s about pausing, leaning in, and asking why before jumping to conclusions. And honestly? It’s a habit that can change your life.



A Lesson in Curiosity

I learned this lesson the hard way several years ago. I was at a school event and noticed a boy off to the side, sitting alone. He wasn’t participating, and whenever someone tried to include or talk to him, he’d snap back with a smart remark or completely shut down. My first thought was, Well, someone’s got an attitude.


But something told me to hang back for a minute and watch. Instead of labelling him as difficult, I got curious. After a while, I walked over, sat down next to him, and asked, “Hey, everything okay?” At first, he shrugged me off. But after a few more gentle questions, he opened up. It turns out that it wasn’t about attitude—he felt totally overwhelmed. Loud crowds made him anxious, and he felt like no one really understood what was going on inside his head. He wasn’t being defiant; he was just trying to protect himself the only way he knew how.


That moment stuck with me. If I’d let my judgment take over, I would’ve missed an opportunity to connect with him. But by getting curious, I saw the bigger picture. It changed the way I approach situations—not just with kids, but with everyone. Oh, and this boy was my son!



Why This Is So Important for Sensitive Kids

This mindset is especially powerful when dealing with sensitive or emotionally intuitive kids. These kids are like sponges—they soak up every emotion around them, and they can sense judgment from a mile away. When they feel judged, they retreat. They stop sharing. And sometimes, they start believing the worst about themselves.


But when adults approach them with curiosity instead of criticism, magic happens. Asking questions like, “What are you feeling right now?” or “Can you tell me what’s going on?” shows them it’s safe to open up. It builds trust. They feel valued. For kids who struggle with anxiety and perfectionism, are overwhelmed, or just feel “different,” this kind of curiosity can be life-changing. It helps them feel understood and teaches them that it’s okay to explore their emotions without fear of being judged.



Why Judgment Holds Us Back

Let’s be honest—judging is easy. It’s fast. It helps us make sense of the world by putting people and situations into neat little boxes. And honestly, it gives us a sense of control. But it also closes us off. It cuts us off from new perspectives and deeper understanding.


Curiosity, though? That’s where the good stuff happens. Curious people don’t assume—they ask. They listen. They want to know the story behind the story. And that kind of openness can completely change how we see others—and even how we see ourselves. It opens us up to a whole new perspective on the world around us.



How to Practice Being Curious

Shifting from judgment to curiosity takes practice, but it’s absolutely doable. Here are a few simple ways to start:

  1. Ask open-ended questions. When you’re talking to someone, skip the yes-or-no questions. Try something like, “What was that experience like for you?” or “Can you tell me more about that?”

  2. Catch yourself in the act. Notice when you’re making a quick judgment. Pause and ask, “Do I really know the full story?”

  3. Be present. When someone is talking, listen with the goal of understanding—not to respond or solve their problem. Just be there.

  4. Get comfortable with being curious. Seek out new experiences. Talk to people with different perspectives. Let your curiosity lead the way.


Final Thoughts

Choosing curiosity over judgment can change your relationships, your mindset, and even your life. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. The next time you catch yourself ready to judge, take a breath and ask a question instead. You never know what you’ll discover.


Be curious. The world is full of stories waiting to be heard—you just have to be willing to listen.



with warmth and gratitude,

Charity

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